Funny Blooper Video Clips

Posts Tagged ‘Bulletin’

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1) Don’t let worry kill you — let the church help.

2) Thursday night – Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

3) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

4) For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

5) This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

6) Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social.. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

7) This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
The service will close with “Little Drops of Water.” One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

9) Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.

10) The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

11) A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

*The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

*The sermon this morning: “Jesus walks on the water”. The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus”.

*Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

*Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

* Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

* The associate minister unveiled the church’s new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge–Up Yours.”

* 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Church Bulletin Bloopers:

“For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”

“The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.”

“The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.”

“Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.”

“Anointing of the sick … If you are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor. Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request.”

“The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.”

The sermon title this morning: WOMEN IN THE CHURCH

The closing song: RISE UP, O MEN OF GOD

The sermon this morning: GOSSIP … THE SPEAKING OF EVIL

The closing song: I LOVE TO TELL THE STORY

The sermon this morning: CONTEMPORARY ISSUES # 3 … EUTHANASIA

The closing song: TAKE MY LIFE
Good idea Carl Partis! Muchos smoochos.

These are actually pretty funny. Click the link and read a few.

http://www.oldlutheran.com/humor/bloopers.shtml

My favorites are these:

·Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

·During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

·Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.

Which ones do you like most?

*The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

*The sermon this morning: “Jesus walks on the water”. The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus”.

*Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

*Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

* Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

* The associate minister unveiled the church’s new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge–Up Yours.”

* 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.